


Too Much

by 00H_MR_STRIDER_00H



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Death, M/M, Suicide, Trigger Warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 05:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2376758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/00H_MR_STRIDER_00H/pseuds/00H_MR_STRIDER_00H
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk commits suicide after Jake leaves him, only to wake up and find it was a dream. </p><p>TRIGGER WARNINGS: SUICIDE, VIOLENCE, ABANDONMENT</p><p>(A song to play in the background: http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=wPfUy4j9V7c#14._Austin%2C_Atlantis_-_Homestuck_Vol._9 )</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Much

It was done. All was far beyond your reach now. No matter how far you stretched your grasp, or how hard you pushed your boundaries, it was over. You were cold. Everything had slipped away from you. With your hands trembling, you struggled to make a fist. All of your emotions had built inside you, stacking countless layers on top of each other, one by one, filling up your chest until you felt like you were about to burst. It hurt. It hurt so much. 

You couldn't move. Your body had long since given up on you, the chill stepping in to your fingertips, your toes, and the unsettling freeze taking over your heart. To this point, with how much you’d pushed yourself to go on, you wondered if you even had one anymore. That ice gave you a firm reminder that you were human, that you were weak, that you had insecurities, and as much as you hate to admit it; that you had failed. Your lips twitched as you tried to open them, the strain in your throat pulling your voice away from you. Everything was so far away. You were scared. Not of the unknown, but of the knowledge of what was to come.

No one would come for you. You’d made sure of that as you’d hidden yourself away from the world. None of your friends knew where you were, and by the time they’d found you, your body would have already been washed of who you once were. The gold in your eyes were long since faded, the blood in your cheeks absent as you were left with a sickly pale, your lips white. Why was it so hard? You just wanted to be happy, but every step that you’d taken only dragged you further away from your goal. 

Laying in your own color, the only comforting heat it had given you was now lost, leaving you with a feeling of drowning. The tear in your neck was apparent, gaping, letting the wind set in and rattle your bones. You never imagined you could hate yourself any more than you previously did, but with him walking out on you, you’d never felt more alone. Alone and with only yourself to talk to, only yourself to blame with the spite of your former self crashing down on you. He’d given you something you thought you could never have, and it was gone in no less than two words. All that hate, that anger, had caused you to rip out the very voice you’d first called out to him with, leave you with misery. You deserved it.

With a shock of fright rushing throughout your body, you struggled to sit up, drenched in sweat and panting for breath. A long moment had passed as you reclaimed your thoughts, your eyes adjusting to the darkness brought upon by the night; familiar objects came to view, giving you a sense of sickening comfort. You buried your face into your hands, trembling in terror as you attempted to calm yourself down. Everything was alright. Setting your hand down beside you, a feeling of absence crept into your already unsettled mind, your eyes met with the lack of another figure. 

You were alone again.

**Author's Note:**

> aaahaha yeah  
> based on a dream i had last night


End file.
